In class last week, we discussed Service and Civic Engagement during the Thanksgiving holiday. Something that stayed with me from that class, was the fact that people can be extremely patronizing when attempting to serve others. This is especially true for people who we deem "less fortunate" than we. I feel like sometimes we tend to be so quick to throw a pity party and feel bad for these "poor people" and then forget exactly what they are, people. We end up reducing them to helpless creatures who don't know any better and who will likely suffer without our help.
We should make efforts to see how they feel about their current situations instead of assuming we know the causes of their circumstances. In an earlier blog post written by Mohamed, he touched on poverty in the
U.S and one thing that I noted was that one of the causes of poverty can be attributed to public perception about
poverty. I recall a moment when My father was driving me to school and we saw a
man collecting bottles on the street. My father took one glance at this man and
said to me "If you don't do well in school, that's how you'll end
up."
He failed to understand that by making that statement to me, he
completely erased any other possibility for that man's situation. It's easier
to write people off as not having worked their hardest to get out of a
situation, and this is because it takes pressure off of oneself in regards to
helping them. If you don't believe it is in any way your fault for causing a
problem, you're most likely not going to help someone who is struggling, and if you do help, it feels more like "they should be grateful that I'm giving my time for them" rather than "I'm happily giving my time".
It is also simply easier to help someone when you hear their own side of the story. It reminds me of the article that stated that it makes more sense to give money to food banks than it does to donate canned food. Why would you take it upon yourself to dictate what someone else should eat? In the same sense, why should you dictate the type of assistance a person needs if you don't even know the circumstances of their situation?
It's important to hear people out or at least do our part to be informed of the problems surrounding the issues we wish to volunteer our time to. This way we can properly interact with the people who are in these situations while being able to treat them as individuals. This leads to collaboration of ideas on how to eradicate a certain issue, and can likely lead to a better outcome in terms of long-term effects. It's also important to understand that while these individuals and families do need assistance, they are not helpless. If we can learn to assist people while treating them as people, we can gain quite the distance in battles against many of the issues we have today.
Urenna,
ReplyDeleteI think your blog post addresses a really important issue, in the way we as a society view our less privileged, or really the way we view people who aren’t in the same situation that we are. People tend to approach the poor and immigrants the same way, as if they are some how inherently less human, and that it is not in job to help them. I feel like this view point can be seen in many places including the actions of those around us, I’ve seen people buy things they would never eat because, they’re donating them to a food drive. I can also say that I personally don’t always remember to put myself in the shoes of the people I see that are less fortunate around me. I feel like the issue is a combination of both lack of empathy, and maybe an overabundance of empathy. While the issue of not treating people like human beings is the root to many of our bigger national disputes, in areas such as poverty, hunger, and immigration. The way we approach volunteer work, and donating may be demeaning and not as productive as we think it is. After our last few classes addressing poverty and volunteering my view on volunteering has changed, maybe just doing anything to help isn’t enough; people should donate their time, but more importantly their skills in a way that can really help people, rather than in a way that allows them to feel like they’ve helped people. I think it’s really important for us to understand, and remember that we are trying to “assist” people and not “save” them.
Sena,
DeleteI can't even say that I always remember to put people in front of me, and this may also be because we live in a society that tends to be very individualistic. However like you, this class has really opened my eyes and my mind in terms of what it means to serve. It has opened my eyes up to my own privilege, but has enabled me to understand that equality can't really unless I am able to acknowledge my privilege in the first place.
Urenna,
DeleteYou point out that this society is very individualistic and it is true. But for a society to be individualistic, one should understand their own self worth. to volunteer, does not mean that you have to "acknowledge your own privilege", this requires you to compare your self to others. being individualistic is to understand why you perform your own actions and to flourish in the idea of individuality. Yes we are privileged but that one word should not stop you from helping others.
I volunteered at the food pantry one winter and we gave boxed food away to people who showed up. many of the people who were helping me carry boxes were the ones who needed the food themselves and had children they need help feeding. Nevertheless, they helped us and they were the last in line to pick up the foods they needed.
Privilege does not determine your inclination to help. there will always be more people "more privileged" than you. It is basically how you feel you can best lend a helping hand. To serve is to provide your energy the best way you can. sure being privilege allows you to access more resources, and that is a benefit but does that mean less privileged people are less beneficial when they help?
Urenna,
ReplyDeleteThis is a topic that stayed with me as well. Before our class discussion, I had never critically thought about the patronization of others while volunteering, just as you did. While I think it is important to analyze the dehumanization of serving others, I think it is just as important, if not more important, to reflect these ideas in your actions. Volunteering, especially in our issue areas, it is common to think of others as having less than you. When a person physically has less money or fewer things it is standard to make the connection that they are less privileged than you. For me, I also view privilege in intangible things like relationships and feelings. In that way some people are more privileged than others, just like with objects.
In whichever way you are privileged, use it to help someone help themselves. Instead of thinking of others as misfortunate, think of them as needing a little push to reach their dreams or their goals. Don't view volunteering as your duty as a middle class citizen to help the poor or needy. View it as an opportunity to use your skills for the betterment of others. Just as Sena stated above, our goal is to assist people, and not save them. If you have the view that you are holier than thou, coming to do your duty of helping someone you probably are doing the opposite of that. It is critical to view yourself among a group of people and not beside a group of people.
Amber,
DeleteI really resonate with your comment about standing among people rather than beside them. I feel as though this view humanizes those who you are trying to help, and in this way allows for more progress to be made. If people see each other as equals, then they won't be afraid to ask for assistance when needed.
I really do have to agree with Amber. Before this course, I had always thought of volunteering as this one dimensional engagement where one party helps the other. What I have realized now is that, volunteering is this entirely dynamic force where both parties can gain so much if they allow themselves to. When I say " allow" I mean allowing yourself to understand another's situation instead of looking at them from your own view of the world. An important aspect of volunteering is to be able to talk and communicate on the same eye level. By doing so, you gain so much personal growth and understanding that you would not have gained normally.
DeleteUrenna,
ReplyDeleteI think this topic is a great one to end our class blog posts with because it illustrates a message we have been touching upon all semester- to treat people like people. Whether rich, poor or Bill Gates we must remember that everyone is human and should be treated with the same respect regardless of race, gender or class. Although we shouldn't throw a "pity party" for these people that shouldn't take away from wanting to help in some way that doesn't dehumanize them. After reading Gregory Boyle's memoir 'Tattoo's on the Heart' the most important message he tried to illustrate was before helping people to actually get to know them-share your life with them. It is important to put yourself on the same level as people in need because otherwise your work may be counterproductive and actually harm them in the end. Many people make the same mistake as your father did and don't assess the multiple reasons that someone may be in the situation they are today. These stereotypes placed on people by society make them seen more helpless than they may be in reality. For example, that may picking bottles on the street may just be eco-friendly and may be placing them in recycling bins (although this is a long shot), we don't know anyone's situation until we break them down and get to know them by sharing our lives with them as well. People aren't programed to automatically open up and ask for help, but if you make them feel comfortable there is a greater chance for improvement. Thinking of the Thanksgiving holiday often makes us think of those who aren't as lucky as us to celebrate in a warm home around our families. On the topic of our Thanksgiving service conversation in class I actually experienced the "cold shoulder" to volunteerism this week. As we read for class often organizations don't want volunteers on Thanksgiving because they need help all year round not just around this time of year. However, for the last few years I have always served a Thanksgiving dinner at my synagogue with my family to war veterans and other people who would otherwise spend the holiday alone. This year as I expected to do the same, I was shocked to be turned down because they "already had enough volunteers." So to everyone reading this, yes it does actually happen. Whether the additional hands would promote chaos or not be useful I will never know, but it really made me think how useful my help has been in the past. Although I've left each year feeling satisfied to see happy faces appreciate the meal I had served them it really does make you think about if they'd be just as appreciative any other day of the year as well.
Urenna,
ReplyDeleteYou address a prevalent problem that has plagued many who seek to aid the less fortunate. Even on holidays when the message is one of unity and love, many people still perceive those who are "less fortunate" as "less human". It is ironic that you mention the story of the man collecting bottles, because I have a very similar story. My own neighbor collects bottles to cash for money. He is well-off and is not financially constricted, yet does this just for extra cash. Any other person would perceive him to be "less fortunate", not knowing his true socioeconomic status. While I agree with Sena does empathy does play a large role, it seems one's own perception of people is something to keep in mind while providing aid to those who seek it.
Amber raises a great point with the notion of privilege. People seem to only quantify privilege in tangible things, while completely disregarding the intangible aspects. Everyone has something they can contribute to society, even if you perceive them as "less fortunate". Your purpose, if you hope to truly make a difference is to help people better themselves, and stand beside them rather than in front of them.
Urenna,
ReplyDeleteYou make a great point that many times, we see people in a less fortunate condition than us and we immediately jump to conclusions that they might need help and i do believe that many of us who try to help aren't in the best positions to do so.
I believe that many of us still believe in the idea of the American Dream and that as long as you follow that path/dream/guideline (or whatever you call it) you can have a happy family, a nice house, a shiny car, a job and a nicely painted white picket fence to help it protect that. Many people who enlist our help fall short of that in the idea that they don't have all these luxuries and thats why we feel the need to pitch in.
i think you gave people less credit than they deserve. Volunteers don't decide to help because its the "white man's burden". They don't decide to help because they feel some form of pity for the less fortunate. Volunteers help because they are able to experience the american dream and wish that others can enjoy the idea with them.
What do you think of when you volunteer? Do you pity the less fortunate? i know that when i help out at a senior center i dont think of the residents as unfortunate people. I enjoy being there and being company on the same level as they are.
Lillian,
DeleteI really appreciate your response to my blog post. However you seem to be misunderstanding some of the things I am stating. I'm saying our society, we tend to not put ourselves in the shoes of others. We don't always realize that not everyone is able to achieve that American dream due to reasons beyond their own control. Oftentimes, when people volunteer, they think in the mindset of "I'm going to help these poor people". Again, this is not in all instances, but the way we portray volunteer service, especially to younger youth, leans more towards an ego boost rather than humble service. The idea of wanting to share one's own privileged life may sound like a humble thing to do, but it does remind of the European woman sharing her danish with the African child who then promptly spit it out. She gave it to him because he had never experienced it before, but failed to realize that he might have not wanted it in the first place. We need to be able to assess the wants and needs of the people who we want to help and then work with them to achieve the type of dream (american or not) that they want. Not the one we have, or want for them.
The essence of this article is to talk about how sometimes when we volunteer we have an "I'm doing you a favor" mindset. By doing this, we don't take time to look a what is causing distress in the lives of the people we're helping. So we're pretty telling them how to fix their lives without asking what is wrong (if anything is wrong at all) in the first place.
I think it's rather nice that you volunteer in a senior center, and I hope you keep it up. I also volunteer at Lourdes Hospital in my free time, and at first I was just there for the experience, but that gets boring quickly. What keeps me going back is my interactions with the patients. This being primarily because I don't see them as helpless people. I am able to put their wants and needs in front of me, and by doing that I can see that they are just like me. I am always a little sad when a person gets discharged, because I don't get to see the person anymore, but that feeling is always overtaken by an immense feeling of happiness because that person is healthy enough to be discharged, and I understand that it's through no fault of my own that they are well. They owe nothing to me; the most I offer them is a smiling face and some snacks, but I don't mind feeling happy because they are happy. And that is what's most important, that the people who you are trying to help are happy in the end.
Urenna,
DeleteI do believe that when looking at high school volunteers, many people think that it is to bolster their college applications. However, I also feel that it is also because of the beginning stages of receiving freedom from parental supervision that at the age of 16-18 is when most children have the ability to understand the need to help the community and the freedom to make this difference. I dont think of volunteer service as a way to boost ego or what not. i believe volunteering is as way to put a smile on the faces of others and also feeling good about your self.
One of the things that pushed me to help out at a senior center was after my grandfather had a stroke. He was very against getting help from others but later understood that he needed to accept the extended hands. we help because we care about the general public and not because we pity or have the mindset of "im doing you a favor"
You made a really compelling and credible argument by discussing an experience that you shared with your father. By your father saying about the man that was collecting bottles, “if you don’t do well in school, that’s how you’ll end up”, is something I’ve heard many people say in regards to many similar situations. I completely agree with you that he failed to understand that by making that statement to you, he completely erased any other possibility for that man’s situation. I believe that it was very mature of you to make this argument especially about someone who was very close to you that made this statement. I think it is a common problem for a person that if they don’t believe it is in any way their fault for causing a problem, and then they most likely will not help a person who is struggling. I feel that so often, societal problems are swept under the rug because no one wants to take responsibly or step up and help out. Poverty, for instance, is a problem that takes a community effort to relieve but so many people don’t step up and take the responsibility to help out, they just look the other way. I think Sena brought up a good point, that the way we approach volunteer work, and donating may in fact be executed in a demeaning manner, ultimately leading it to not be as productive as many of us assume it to be. Amber bring sup a good solution to this: to use your own privilege as a way to push someone to keep going, I think that was very nicely said. Overall, Urenna, you shed light on a very important and common problem that many choose to ignore.
ReplyDeleteI think you hit the nail on the head with this post. I think it's very important that we don't boil down the situation. Getting down on the same level as others is the key to solving problems and helping others. It's a lot easier to just say that a person is poor because they didn't work hard enough, but it discredits all others who are victim of certain circumstances that they can not control. Not only is this unfair to the person, it also doesn't help solve anything. I think the example you gave of your father was a very good example of that.
ReplyDeleteI think the very danger is trying to make it an "us" and "them" situation. Regardless, we are all people and products of our circumstances. It is far more helpful to engage with others when we get down on the same level as others rather than putting yourself on a pedestal.
In EMS when you talk to a patient you always get on the same level as the patient; whether they're standing or sitting, you never tower over them. This is to build trust in order to get the most honest answer in order to figure out a solution to their injury/illness. I think we can draw a parallel from this to all other situations, especially poverty. It is important to see the issue from the eyes of those effected.
Urenna,
ReplyDeleteI really do agree how we people need to change their views on why people are poor and people's views on how the poor should be treated. It is unfortunate to see that people are demeaning towards these people even if they do not notice they are doing it. I also agree how it is important to know "their side of the story." Even if we did know their side, I believe it would be more effective to "take a walk in their shoes." Taking a walk in their shoes is obviously undesirable and won't be done, but we should do our best to try and understand them better.
On a website I viewed while doing my research for volunteering within Arts and Culture, I saw a more general website about volunteerism. The website is called keepvolunteeringvoluntary.net. The name of the website is very self-explanatory. In their subsection, "Whats wrong with workfare?" they give 5 valid reasons as to why volunteering demeans people and how it can be fixed. Hopefully when people read my blog post they can take a look at that website in order to get a better understanding on volunteering and how their volunteer work can make a meaningful difference.
Urenna,
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with everything you had to say. It is incredibly common for people to oversimplify and overgeneralize the causes of what puts an individual into poverty. Unfortunately, it is usually attributed to personal “failings” or poor choices. This limits the willingness of many people to advocate for or aid those in need because they would rather help someone who tragically fell into poverty because of something out of their control. No matter what the back story is, people are people and everyone deserves kindness and compassion. Society’s narrow minded perspective on others’ situations is an obstacle that is difficult, but necessary, to overcome. We have discussed in class several times that understanding how organizations work and knowledge about what is the most effective way to make a difference, but your post highlights how important it is to understand an issue at the individual level as well.
Urenna,
ReplyDeleteI really like what you have to say about the assumptions we make about poverty, and I think that it addresses a very prevalent issue in our society, particularly at this time of the year. The article that you address that talks about food drives really struck me the first time I read it. I had never thought of this negative side to food drives and the dehumanizing effect it has of stripping people of the basic right to choose what they eat. It made me think back on the years that I have participated in food drives and scoured our cupboards do get rid of the cans of lima beans and other undesirables from our house, all the while thinking I was doing something “good.”
Ignorance is bliss; as long as we choose to remain oblivious and unwilling to learn about the struggles that poverty invokes directly from the source, we can continue reassuring ourselves that we are doing “good,” which is as deep as most people are willing to look at it. All the while, we are unknowingly widening the gap by patronizing these people, all in the name of our own self-validation. Like Jen highlighted, we need to start treating people like people. I believe that this concept needs to start being more heavily emphasized and understood if the ideal of an equal and just society can ever be realized.
I completely agree with everything that you have had to say. I think it is very important to treat people like people. Like we have said we don't know how they got into their current situation and it could just as easily be us. Sometimes people don't need a service or a meal, maybe they just need someone to talk to without judgement. That is why I think it is important to volunteer regularly and not just a once in a while do a good thing kind of volunteering around the holidays. When we volunteer at the same place with the same people we form a connection with each other, like you have at Lourdes Hospital. This connection could be a lot more helpful than any service that we can provide them. Friendship is stronger than we think.
ReplyDeleteEvery Thanksgiving I run a turkey trot that helps benefit the local YMCA. The money goes toward financial assistance for its members who cant afford it. I run it because its like a tradition for me and I work for the YMCA and see the difference a little money can make. It just so happens that it falls on Thanksgiving and I would run in it no matter the day of the year. I don't view the families that I work with as any less than me and I consider many of these kids that I am with everyday as my own sibling.
Urenna,
ReplyDeleteI think you touched upon an interesting point about the attitudes towards less fortunate people. I believe the example you provided illustrated the point of prejudice and apathy having its roots in a lack of understanding. In no way am I suggesting that your father, or anyone with this mindset, is immoral. In fact, I can completely understand why people would think that way, although I do not agree with it. I can understand why he said that, since it is a common belief that our capitalistic economy allows for socioeconomic movement if one works hard enough. There is also the unknown life circumstances the currently poor person has gone through. There is a stereotype of poor people, especially the homeless, that poor people make poor choices, such as dropping out of school, doing drugs, and leading a life of crime. This assumption can lead to the feeling that poor people deserve to be in their position, or came to that condition by their own fault. It is entirely possible that the man you saw was born into a middle class family, and made the unwise decision of getting into drugs, and lost enough money that he has to take bottles from garbage in order to get money. As with my father, he has no sympathy for poor people because he came from a poor family, and everyone in his family worked hard and moved up the job scale in order to get richer. He feels that if his family was capable of doing it, everyone else should be. This type of attitude of “I did it myself, you can too” can also lead to rich people feeling superior to the less fortunate when helping them, which is insulting and patronizing to those who need help.
The reason I disagree with the statement “If you don’t do well in school, that’s how you’ll end up” as a whole is because everyone’s personal situation is different, and societal and institutionalized oppression plays a role in economic status. Race plays a role due to discrimination in the work place and by peers. People who are born into poor families are often concerned with surviving on a pay check, and have no time or money to go back to school or learn new skills to get a higher paying job. It is also possible that this man came from a household with a single mother, and had to choose a job over college in order to financially support his family. Another reason why I don’t agree with that statement is because there is a high unemployment rate among college graduates, even those with degrees in STEM majors.
“It is also important to understand that while these individuals and families do need assistance, they are not helpless.” I agree with this statement since many poor people just need help to get themselves on their feet, and are more than willing to work hard and get themselves out of poverty. For some people, an opportunity is all they need, and government assistance is that opportunity. I think it is important to view those who are poor as people who need an extra lift, and not moochers or ungrateful.
Urenna,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you have written this blog because you have touched upon the most basic fundamental aspect of charity and volunteerism. When volunteers or individuals who engage civically give their time to help a person who is struggling, those individuals tend to put a label on the struggling people that they are helping. Those people tend to see the struggling people as helpless individuals who need a person who come to their rescue and will be completely grateful if someone were to help them out. This line of thinking leads people who engage civically to make assumptions of people’s circumstances and not fully understand what someone’s actually story is. This idea relates back to an older topic we talked about earlier in the semester where civic engagement should be about fixing the real cause of problems or issues rather than treating the symptoms. For example, people who are homeless or stuck in poverty lack many of the basic necessities of life like clothing, food, and shelter so many people who volunteer give them free clothing, meals, and temporary housing. However, that doesn't fix the real issue that they face, which is getting a job or having a source of income so that they can provide for themselves and be more self-sufficient.
Hey Urenna,
ReplyDeleteI think you have an excellent point in exploring the ideas and implications of “I’m doing you a favor” mindset. I know that I am guilty of having those attitudes sometimes when I volunteered. Your example of the homeless man is especially relatable because back at home, in the city, there are many homeless people. Most of the times we walk past them without really seeing them because it is just a very common sight. Sometimes people would stop and help those in need. However, I have witnessed several times where people would assist a homeless person but the homeless person would reject them. They, in turn, would feel indignant that they were turned down. This shows that a lot of people do have the “I’m doing you a favor” mindset. It is hard not to because there is a very fine line between pity and empathy.
Hey Urenna,
ReplyDeleteI think it is very common in our society to begin to make assumptions on people based upon their current situations. We see a man sitting on the side of the street in tattered clothes, and we immediately begin to blame this man for his situation without knowing anything about where he has come from. This I feel like is because we like to neatly categorize people into a few very specific boxes and make choices regarding these people according to how we have characterized them. A lack of empathy is probably in my opinion a huge reason for this. We forget that other people are human, and then it becomes easy for us to think of them as poor creatures or not worth out time and we are only doing this out of the pity we feel. This is a issue I think many people struggle with and that we must work harder to try to fix.